Date Day/Night(s) :0)

I love going on dates. Especially ones that aren't really planned out and are just spontaneous. I love being able to just spend some "us" time and just have fun.

Last weekend Alya and I went to the Landing in downtown Jacksonville. We went to dinner and then rode on a little boat along the river. It was a nice quiet night just with my love. (I did however find out that my camera screen was broken :0( so taking pictures was VERY interesting ... still on the look out for a new one!)









This past Sunday I decided to surprise Alya with a random {day}date. I love love love surprises ... I love being spontaneous ... and just having fun! My wonderful husband isn't all that great at coming up with surprises tries his very best to appease my obsession with surprises. So I thought that it would be a great idea to show him how to surprise someone! lol Alya is a wonderful artist. And I love doing anything crafty ... so this date was really something for both of us to enjoy doing together. (duh, that's what dates are for!) So I googled this place ...



You get to go and choose your piece of pottery and paints to glaze with ...




And it was one of my most favorite dates! :0)


I decided to pick a little pig piggy bank to paint for the nursery.



The nursery colors are pink, sage green, yellow and white. So I thought that it would be cute to do a pink piggy with green and yellow polka dots. These were my colors ...



Here's how it turned out ...



I thought it would be cute to write her name on the butt {Amiah}



And then I wrote love mommy 2010



And Alya copied also chose to do a little bank to put in the nursery, but his was a cute little puppy dog.






The sun was in our eyes in this picture ... but it was one last picture of us as we were leaving the pottery place. We have to wait one week before we can go pick up our new artwork :0) We had a really great day and I can't wait to do it again!

It Has Already Been Done …

Those five words from my previous post have almost been haunting me since I read them over on Kim’s blog. I’m not saying this in a negative way. I’m not thinking about it the way you would traditionally think of the word haunting … but instead as an amazing reminder that the steps it will take for this adoption to take place “have already been done”. God has already orchestrated this crazy little adventure that we are on, and in the midst of the waiting I had forgotten that. He already knows who our child(ren) *fingers crossed for loads more!* are … He knows every single hair on their head, just like He knows mine. I don’t know if our baby has been knitted together in his/her mother’s womb yet … but the steps to get us to our little miracle “Have Already Been Done!”

I feel like we are just kind of in this rut of a waiting period. Where it’s not necessarily a bad place to be … but just a slow paced, nothing new is going on kind of place. A place that is completely out of my comfort zone; a place that has me going stir crazy! I am the let’s get going girl with 20 million things on my to-do list that need to get done RIGHT NOW! I love staying busy and having a plan in place that helps me know where I’m starting and where I need to end. My mind is a never ending race of figuring out the best and quickest way to get these tasks completed, while at the same time slowly adding more things to the bottom of my list to complete when I finish the first 20 million. That’s my life … and really I love that fast paced race (that I create) … yeah I said it … the race that I CREATE. I’m wondering if this is a time of rest for us … for patience *yuck* and for time to just be STILL. That S-word is a bad word in my vocabulary. Still … what’s that mean? But at this part in our journey I really don’t have a choice but to be still. There literally is not much that I can do right now. I don’t have any grand fundraiser plans up my sleeve at the moment … so I’m being forced to just wait out this period and be still. It is so so so hard for this busy bee to get the hang out of it.


Our update is still going on … waiting on those silly FBI checks that are said to take 13 weeks … *WHY?* and then hopefully we can apply for some grants. I had a dream the other night that someone just gave us the rest of the money needed and I couldn’t stop hysterically sobbing. Man how totally amazing would that be!?


I was thinking about this whole fundraising thing … it seems to be something that follows me around everywhere. Just when I think I can hide from that fundraising word it sneaks up on me again. See when I was in college at Flagler I was involved in this incrediably amazing Christian club called InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I was on leadership for most of my college years. I never in my life felt as challenged in my walk with God as I did during those four years of my life. I have never grown so much in my life, and I have never felt as close to Him as I did then. When I graduated I left for six weeks to Ghana , Africa and when I returned from my trip I was supposed to start an internship program called Pioneer Year at the local community college just down the road from Flagler. Before I left for Africa I was super excited about this new adventure God was leading me on. I loved loved loved ministering to students on Flagler’s campus. When I say loved … I mean that’s all I ever wanted to do … it was what made me happy. Then when I got back from Africa my adventure was supposed to start. I had no idea where I was going to live, I had no money, no job … and with this internship I was supposed to FUNDRAISE my salary. In the midst of being scared out of my life about embarking on a strange new campus that had no ministry what so ever, my partner “came out” and the group denied her application to come on staff. I was so so so scared. How in the world was I going to do this alone? I had already been feeling like this wasn’t what I was supposed to do … and honestly I don’t know that I made the wrong choice … but I quit. I quit before I even really began and most of that was to do with the fundraising aspect of the ministry. I don’t like to ask anyone for anything … I makes me feel weak and vulnerable, two feelings I hate to feel! So I quit, I got a teaching job and then got married all within that crazy year. And now … I’m back to that word … the one I originally ran away from. Fundraising. But this time it’s seems like God is asking me what it’s going to take to be worth fighting for? Was I willing to fight for that ministry no matter how my heart still is saddened that I gave up a chance to work with college students who I absolutely love? No, … I didn’t fight for them, I quit. Then I hear Him asking, “What about the orphaned?” “Are they worth fighting for?” And my response … Hell Yes! So … I’ve got my boxing gloves on and I’m willing to fight through any hoop that is thrown my way …even the hoop called “stillness”. *sigh*


Alya threw a curve ball at me last night. He actually threw out a fundraising idea! GASP! SHOCK! I don’t know about any of the rest of you adoptive moms but my husband is great at saying “yes dear, whatever you need dear” and signing on the dotted line when I throw a piece of paper in his face. He’s not the one that comes up with the crazy houred fundraising ideas and knows all the agency paper work like the back of my hand. So when he mentioned this idea, I was like .. huh? what did you just say? So I don’t know if it would actually come of anything, and I’m going to let him handle any details, if there are any with this particular idea … but it could be a good idea, maybe? lol See his cousin plays for the CA Angels baseball team. Howard Kendrick is his cousin … and he’s kind of like a small home town type of hero. The reason why this came up is because we were watching the All Star Team play on TV yesterday. And he mentioned that he found out he made like 1.7 million a year *now if that doesn’t make you throw u in your mouth a little, I don’t know what will! ha!* So I was like well maybe he would buy a baby or two?? Just totally joking, I don’t even know the guy … but maybe?? ;0). Alya was like well I did kind of have an idea that maybe he might help out with. He was thinking of having a signing or something like that and have people pay a certain amount to see him. I don’t know if that would even be something that could work out … but even so, I was very proud of Alya for trying to come up with something. :0)


I feel like I haven’t really been updating during the month of June and now into July … I hate having lots of blank days … I just don’t know what to write about. Praying that maybe if I can learn to be still, God will give me something to write about. :0)

I Had To Share This ...

I needed to read this blog today ... and I thought that you might need to read it too. I found this post over at Kim's blog and I knew that there would be someone else out there that might not follow her blog that needed to read it .... BECAUSE I DID!


Saturday, July 10, 2010 Fundraising...and why I think everyone should do it!

Many of us in the adoption world are affectionately referred to as "fundraising families". For the purpose of this post we will go with FF for short. Our numbers are growing...and for good reason.

...and those who "affectionately" refer to us are basically...well...US! We are a tight bunch. We empathize, sympathize, strategize, rationalize, visualize and sometimes even hypothosize on what all this fundraising stuff really means.

I won't quote the source, because I don't have hard numbers, but I heard it said not too long ago that the number of families entering the adoption journey that will be fundraising families will be 8 out of 10. 80% !!! and for what it is worth, the source provides adoption grants so they would be in the know. So, being a FF that is in the homestretch of this part of the journey I thought I would share a few thoughts on what I have learned thus far. I guess I'll start off by being a "negative Nellie" and then end on a super positive note.

Fundraising Fact #1
It's hard.
There is no easy way around it. It is simply hard. And with hard comes "not always fun" as well. Oh, it is loads of fun when the t-shirt orders are pouring in and the agency deadline is far enough away you are pretty optimistic it will all come together before it's due.(By the way, we missed the deadline more than once with our agency...) But there are the many days where there is just silence. One of the plagues in Exodus was darkness. God's word says the "darkness was so strong it was felt" Exodus 10:21 (my paraphrase). Well, in fundraising, there is silence. Often, the silence is so loud it is heard. And that silence leads to discouragement, lonliness and even despair. Which leads us right back to "hard and not always fun". Even those in the cyber community that make it look easy will admit it is hard, but each will also admit the "hard" is worth every single tear, cry and groan.

Fundraising Fact #2The 80/20 rule seems to apply, especially early on. Actually, according to other FF's it is really more like the 90/10 rule. In other words, 90% of the funds raised seem to be given by only 10% of the people who you are journeying through life with. And while your heart is strengthened by these generous donors, you realize the entire 30-34K (current Ethiopian costs) cannot be obtained by these precious few...and they realize it, too. Which leads us to...

Fundraising Fact #3"Where did everybody go?"
They didn't go anywhere. You did. They are where they have always been and probably where you once were as well. You have in your life your "go to" people. We girls call it our "go to girls" Always there for each other, always will be. But the fact is many others are just not going to understand with their heads or their hearts where you are going. It just is what it is. They may smile and admire what you are doing but the truth of the matter is they just don't get it and THAT IS OKAY!
When my 12 year old was questioning the lack of support at one point I tried to put it in a way he could understand. I told him his sister was kidnapped and I needed a million dollars ransom to save her and could he help me? He looked at me long and said, "I can't, I don't have it to give" My point to him was not the money but to drive home the fact that you can't give something you don't have to give. For some reason known only to their hearts, these "where did everyone go'" people don't have the support to give... money completely aside. You have got to let yourself off the hook with this one. The time and heart energy wasted on trying to convert even closest friends and family members is not yours to take on. Surrender it and give it back to God. It's His job. Can He use you? Sure, but probably not in the way you envision right now. Let it go or at the very least, put it on the back burner for now... Cause here's the deal... God has called you to an incredible journey. He is entrusting you with that which breaks His heart. It is so clear in His word He favors the orphan, widow and the least of these. He trusts YOU to steward this journey, not them, at least not now. Whether these people around you ever "get it" or not, whether they come around and support you with a financial gift or fundraising support or emotional support or not... That is THEIR journey!
Take your eyes off them and put them on Him. He will amaze you with new people who will encourage you in so many ways. Some of people I thought would walk shoulder to shoulder with us simply can/will not. Others I knew only as acquaintances I am now "doing life with". God is drawing together a community...He's good like that. I was discussing the plagues in Exodus with my husband and was amazed at how God continued to harden Pharaoh's heart over and over. But you know, others needed to SEE. They needed to see God's power and believe. The same is true for some hardended hearts that are watching your journey.

Fundraising Fact #4God funds what He favors.
I know, on the "silence" days, you really wonder if it will all come together. Let me let you in on a simple truth I wish I had embraced early on. It's real deep so steady yourself. It is four simple words but full of truth...

It is already done.

I told you it was deep. It really and truely is...already...done! It is already accomplished. It just has not been delivered yet and the reason it has not been delivered yet is because God has a purpose greater than the adoption costs going on here. Your journey will look like what He needs it to look like. Fraught with struggles and successess. Covered in tears and triumphs. Filled with hope, dreams, faith-building and worship. Because it really is not about you and it really is not about that orphan. It is about Him and it is about the Gospel. Each of these little journeys is a picture of the Gospel. No wonder it costs so much. For Jesus, it cost his life. No wonder it is so hard. No wonder "others" don't have it to give. No wonder.
Being the picture person I am, I liken the journey of my family and your journey to pieces of a big, beautiful painting...sort of picture tiles building aside and on top of each other to form the final masterpiece. As I said before, our "tiles" will take as long as He needs them to take and will look like what He desires them to look like so that He can draw the other tiles pieces that will form around ours and continue to form the grand picture . Wow... I'm sure that was full of theological holes but that's what I wish I had known from day one.
So I know that was only 4 fundraising facts and there is time (cause we're in the WAIT) for another post to share about specific fundraisers, but that is just some of my thoughts on the "behind the scenes" of being a FF. I would not for a minute disuade you from entering the journey of adoption due to lack of funds but rather encourage you to take the next step. You don't have to have the end in sight. You don't even have to have the step after the next step in sight. You just have to start. A fence is no place to sit. No matter how you dress it up, a fence is a fence and it's just a barrier. Hop off one side or the other. You've already been on "that"side. And while it may be safe, your "picture tile" is losing it's color. Watch as He blows your socks off with what He will do with your story. In the end, there WILL be enough, because He is enough.
He promises.

Nothing New Really ...

It's back to the waiting game for us. We had our homestudy update done a week ago Friday. Don't remember if I posted about that or not. I know that it's been forever since I last posted ... but honestly there just really isn't much to write about. We did find out that our current homestudy from foster care might not be able to be updated. This seriously is just ridiculous. Waiting to hear back from our agency to see if they will be okay with the logistics the other agency doing our homestudy is trying to figure out.

sigh ...

and so the waiting continues. Sometimes it would just be nice to know a round about time frame of when we will be able to bring our baby home. Next week, next month, 6 months, 1 year, 1 million years ... whatever it may be, it would just be nice to know how long we have to wait.

Still staying positive ... there's just nothing to write about or be excited about at the moment. Praying we can use the homestudy we currently have instead of paying tons more money to get a whole new one.