I Could Never...

The hoops we have jumped through, the mountain of paperwork that was filled out, the inspections, the “calls” that have come, the kids we have taken into our home, the ones we said no to, the promises that were broken, the failed adoption, an open adoption, the one that came back home, and the ones that are still to come pretty much sums up the last five years of our lives. And in those past five years there have been a lot of comments that people have made:

“I could never do what you do.”

“I would get too attached and never be able to let them go.”

“It takes a special person.”

As a foster parent (and I think that my other foster mommas would agree), I hate those comments. I’m an ordinary, broken, selfish, opinionated, judging person.

I got into foster care for selfish reasons. I got into foster care because I couldn’t become a mom the “natural” way. I got into foster care because adopting or IVF was too expensive. I got into foster care because there are so many kids that need a loving home, and it would be so easy. (learned that one the hard way) I got into foster care for selfish reasons …. but now I chose to be a foster parent because God has called us to this journey.

But hasn’t he called us all?

The fact is, I CAN’T do what I do … I’m not the one that can take these kids in, can love, comfort and provide a safe place for them to heal. I don’t do that … HE does. It baffles me sometimes when people say, “I could never let them go”. Do you think I can? I can’t tell you the number of times I have wanted to run away to another country with my littles. How I have begged and pleaded with God to let them stay. How I have bitterly yelled at God that this was not fair, that it was not right, that these kids were not ready yet ….. that I wasn’t ready yet. But you see it’s not about me. It’s not about you. It’s about HIM. It’s about being obedient. It’s about taking care of the least of these.

Foster care/adoption is a hard, hard, hard road. There are so many days when I want to quit. When I cry out to God and tell him that my heart can’t take this anymore. But then he reminds me of alllllll the times I hear people say “I could never do what you do”, and it makes me think that if I quit, and all these people I know that don’t even want to try … then who will be left to love these kids?

The fact is we weren’t asked what we would like to do. We weren’t asked if we would prefer the easier road. And to be honest, if we were, both of my hands would shoot up into the air. I remember calling Alya last week when we found out that N’s trial was now pushed all the way back to January. I remember being BROKEN. I remember asking Alya on the phone why does this have to be so hard? Why can’t just one time be somewhat easy for us? Why do we have to fight every second of this journey? And the answer: because we are commanded to take care of the least of these. Not just Alya and I. Not just all the other foster or adoptive families out there. ALL.OF.US. That means you too. If I’m stepping on any toes, then good …. we need to constantly be begging God to break our hearts. We need to be following God into those uncomfortable places. We need to fight and be a voice for those that don’t have one.

We live in such a broken world. Fostering and adopting are messy. There is so much loss, there is heartache, and there is brokenness. But in all that mess … there can be redemption, God can and will be glorified. I’m begging you to ask God to lead you, to challenge you, to break your heart for these littles.

Please stop saying “I could never”, “I don’t have enough money”, “I don’t have enough space” … please stop making excuses. If you are obedient, HE WILL provide.

There are so many excuses that I could make for my own family. But if I’m honest, God can shoot down any excuse I try to create. I have seen some crazy God miracles in these last five years. Josiah being one of them … his adoption was $15,000 … and we didn’t pay a penny of that. I have another friend that raised $30,000 in one month … ONE MONTH! God’s heart is for the orphaned. You don’t have to go overseas (though I’m not against that), you don’t even have to be a foster parent. These kids are in our own backyards … they could be your kids friends, they could be student at your school, you could be a big brother or sister, you could mentor … I’m challenging you during this time of “thanksgiving” to look around you and see what you really have to offer. I’m challenging you to ask God to make you uncomfortable. Sometimes, well a lot of the time, God will stir something in your heart that doesn’t make sense. It will defy the norm … but you know that it is right. You know that God is asking you to do something or be a part of something crazy amazing. Don’t hesitate, don’t back out because of doubt or fear … I promise it will rock your world.