A Call ...

Not the call.

This time.

But a call. One that ended in a "no"

This sucks. I'm getting super sick of having to say no.

The call wasn't from the agency we are currently working with. It was a call from the agency that did our homestudy update. A birth mother called their office today saying that she was interested in giving her baby up for adoption. She is due December 30th. She's having an AA baby girl. All medical stuff is good ... mom is 23 and already has a 3 yr old little girl. She lives with her mother and just can't financially afford to support a second child right now. This particular agency's fees are $15,000 but don't include legal or birth mother fees. So our total cost would be around $22,000. We don't have that ... not even remotely close. So we had to say no.

Bummer.

I really am 100% confident in knowing that God is going to provide... in HIS own time.

I know that ... promise I do.

But try telling my heart not to hurt just a bit when I have to say no.

Yes, a few tears were shed. This isn't the first time I've had to say no ... honestly it's probably been a half dozen times. But it's not something that gets any easier.

I KNOW we are so close. I KNOW it's going to happen. But getting phone calls like this ... ones that steal a little piece of my hopeful heart ... well they sting a little bit.

Soon ... I won't have to say "no" ... I just have to keep reminding my heart of that.

soon ...