First I want to thank everyone for the sweet comments and continued prayers that were left on my last post. It was nice to see some of my blog lurkers come out of hiding :0)
I thought that I would post a blog asking for some of you to help me come up with questions that I should ask our agency about this particular birthmother match. When I was on the phone with our agency yesterday my brain totally went out the window and I didn't ask much of anything.
This is all that I know so far ...
1. baby is a an AA girl
2. mom is 21
3. mom has done all her pre-natal care and baby is healthy
4. mom is due Dec. 1 but is expected to give birth in the next 2-3 weeks.
5. mom has not told her parents about the adoption.
And that's literally all that I know ... and I want to know so much more but I don't even know where I should start with asking questions so here's where you come in ...
I want to get a list of questions together and send an email out to our agency over the weekend. So ... what kind of questions would you want to ask????? Come on blog lurkers I want to hear from you too. Seriously .... I need your help! :0)
Questions-
ReplyDelete1. Birthfather- does he know about the baby?
2. Any sort of medical history on birthmother/father families? Certain illnesses or mental health conditions? Good to know for future.
3. Openness- continued contact, occasional letters/pictures, no contact at all
4. Any alcohol or substance use during pregnancy?
Now, for the record- NONE of these questions would change our minds about any child. But, try to get as much information NOW as possible because it will be almost impossible after placement. Lindsay, really feel free to contact me if you have any questions about FL adoptions or your agency. I am not an expert, but we are still in limbo waiting for finalization (unique situation), and Charlie is 14 months! I'd love to help you in any way I can. Also, in FL, birthmom's rights are terminated the moment she signs in the hospital- great for adoptive family. PRAYING FOR YOU!! HUGS!
In Him,
E
Is this her first child? Why has she not told her parents about the adoption? Will they try to get the baby? The Father or the Father's parent's care? Could they stop the adoption? If they father does know and agrees is there any info on him available?
ReplyDeleteMy cousin is adopted and never could find out who his Father is and that is very frustrating for him. His mother died before he found out about her.
Best of luck!! crossing everything I've got for you guys! Lol!
My questions would include...
ReplyDelete1) what is the state's laws in which the adoption is taking place? Is consent irrevocable once signed?
2) Also question the rights of the bmom's parents if they decide they want to take custody?
3) Also wondering about birthfather - is he aware? Does he have any rights? Is he supportive of the adoption plan?
4) How much openness does the bmom want after the adoption? Always important to know upfront
5) How about any other unknown family members that might want to take care of this child? They often come out of the woodwork the last few weeks of pregnancy.
6) What are your at-risk fees? Meaning- how much money do you stand to lose if the adoption fails?
Not trying to be negative about these questions, but being realistic from my own experience. Another person above stated that the answers would not have changed her mind, but I would tell you that they definitely would have changed mine! If I had known that I stood to lose all of my invested money or if the consent was not irrevocable, I don't think I would have moved forward.
Please email me if you have any questions, concerns, etc. I am concerned (for you) that the grandparents do not know yet. I am praying that all goes well according to HIS will!!! Praying for the right questions to be asked, for the Lord to give you the wisdom and peace to know His will and follow it.
Much love & prayers,
Tara