Answers ...

I received an email back from our agency today full of answers to all my questions.

1. When does the birth mother plan on telling her parents that she is making an adoption plan? Does she think that there will be a problem when she tells them? Do the grandparents have any rights towards the baby? A: She does not plan on telling them until after she signs over her rights. She feels this is the best plan for her. No, grandparents do not have rights. I have some additional information about this and I now understand why she wishes to go about the adoption in this way.

2. Is the birth mom really serious about making an adoption plan? Or is she just entertaining the idea? * just trying to prepare our hearts ... ** A: I know…this is always the hard part! She feels she is sure at this point, but I always warn adoptive families, birth moms can be 100% sure for 6 months of counseling with me and that can all change in a second once they see or hold the baby. I will be up at the hospital with her providing her ongoing counseling during her stay.

3. Does she know who the birth father is? Is he AA too? If she does not know the birth father what does that mean for us? A: He is AA, but we do not have a name or location for him. We will have to publish for 30 days on him in the paper with all information we do have and he will then have that time period to contact us or our attorney to petition for his right to parent. I also have additional information about this and don't think that the b-father will be an issue at all.


4. Are there any family medical issues (both mom & dad's side)
A: There are no known medical issues on the mother’s side, no smoking, drinking, or drugs presently or in the past. She did not start receiving prenatal care until her 5th month, but since then has been going regularly with no issues. We do not have any history from the father’s side.


5. When the baby is born what happens? Are we notified? Do we get to meet her then ... or do we have to wait for the baby to be discharged from the hospital? A: When the baby is born, we will go visit her and the birth mom in the hospital and gauge where she is at in her adoption plan. We will then update you so you can figure out travel plans if needed. Birth mom cannot sign the consent for the adoption until 48 hours or upon discharge. We would then have you and Alya meet us at the hospital once she is discharged and then the baby would be discharged straight to your care.


6. Does the birth mother want to meet us? Does she want this to be a closed adoption/or does she want updates on the baby etc.? A: She chose not to meet you and does not have any questions for you at this time. She wants a semi-open adoption plan which is pictures and letters at 3, 6, 9, 12 months, and once a year on her birthday until she is 18.


7. When we take the baby home does that mean that the parents right are terminated? Is there any way of us possibly losing the baby after we have already brought her home? A: Parents’ rights are not terminated until the actual termination of parental rights (TPR) hearing which usually takes place approximately 3 months after placement. However, in the state of Florida once the consent is signed it is a permanent commitment unless it can be proven that the signature was obtained under fraud or duress. This placement would be considered an “at-risk” placement because of the birth father situation. Since we will publish, the birth father would have to see the publication and he would then have the 30 day period to notify the courts he would like to parent and then he would have another 30 day period to prove to the courts that he could parent, financially and emotionally. There has been only one time to date in a 5 year period where we have had a father step forward and request to parent and it did not end up happening.


8. Was there any alcohol or substance abuse during the pregnancy? A: No, there was none.


9. Could we lose any of our money once payed to the agency if the adoption does not go through as planned? A: It is broken up into 3 payments: $4000 at placement, $4800 at TPR and $4800 at finalization. All payments are non-refundable so the one that you could possibly lose in an at-risk placement would be the first payment of $4000.

10. In her birth plan does she say whether or not she wants to see or hold the baby after she is born? A: At this time, she feels she will want to see the baby, hold the baby, and feed the baby while in the hospital for closure

That's it so far ... can you think of anything else that I should ask?

Please friends pray for our b-momma ... I've learned a lot more about her situation today. Pray for healing.